Why you need to stop blaming the world for your financial problems.
Oh yeah… I just said that.
I could have entitled this article “I don’t understand anything about my entire life!”
Now that would have been appropriate if I were 10 or 20 or even 30 years old. But I’m not. I’ve crossed the 6th decade and I only recently discovered why I get so frustrated and angry when I experience clients, family, friends and even my husband pull the money plug from out under my feet!
What does that mean?
Let me explain.
When I was 10, I wanted some money to buy bubble gum. We didn‘t get allowances back then, so when I had the chance, I stole a few pennies from my mother’s collection of coins.
I grabbed a nice bigger brown dial and later that afternoon, I walked boldly into the local town drugstore and set the coin on the counter asking for 2 pieces of gum.
The pharmacist took my money. I raced back to school with my gum. O happy day.
We rode the bus to and from home on the farm into town for school. When I walked in the door at day’s end, I felt something was up.
The energy was a little thicker than usual.
Mom did a good thing. She took me aside so I wouldn’t be chastised in from of my siblings and asked me why I took her prize collectors coin today.
What the hell! Prize? It was a penny.
No, it was a 1915, large 1 cent Canadian coin worth about $10. I didn’t know.
In my defense, I wanted to know why I couldn’t have some money of my own.
The response was, girls don’t need money.
Circa 5 years later.
My brother and I were both athletic and we played on the junior high volleyball teams.
The annual county tournament was scheduled in the neighboring school and we would be gone all day.
My dad gave my brother some bills and casually mentioned it was for lunch and he was responsible for buying me a hamburger too.
Do you know what ran through my teen brain?
What the heck! Why not give me a fiver so I could buy my own hamburger for pete’s sake?
Because girls don’t need money.
This policy dug deep into my psyche and over the years as I lived my life and made decisions, it would come to haunt me over and over.
Should I blame my parents? Hell yeah! BUT. I realized that I took on a fable and believed it to be true.
It was always my responsibility to challenge it, disagree with it, toss it into the manure pile and get on with my life.
But I didn’t out of respect for my parents. Sure they were wrong, but not in their minds back then.
I have a ton more stories where the “illusive winged shit belief” girls don’t need money, ran my life.
What’s more, until I grabbed it by the throat, I wondered why oh why I used to feel guilty when I did earn a nice fat fee for my work. Or why I would literally sabotage my opportunities in fear that I should live out that belief.
It was 99% unconscious.
It didn’t occur to me it ruled my life.
Hence, I say again, you need to stop blaming the world for your financial problems.
Dig just enough below the surface and find out why you feel you don’t deserve the better wedding, the better the car, the greater quality clothes, position, home, partner, opportunity and clients.
Dig until you find out you are a thousand times better and worthy than what anyone ever told you in the past.
Then watch what happens to your energy.