I am learning a new skill in my coaching program.  This week it’s about how to dissolve those difficult emotions that seem to wrap themselves around us… and never let go!

The basics seem simple enough: add breath, give it space, say hello, add love... too simple?

I’m testing it out this week. And boy what a week!

My mom went into hospital “again” because she choked while eating. She had food particles slide into her wind pipe and lungs. That’s OK. She goes in at least once every month because she chokes on too large of pieces of food. She knows to chew.. but she forgets. So she takes the ride into hospital, lies there for about 3 days with an antibiotic drip to clear infection and pneumonia. That’s what happens when food and mouth bacterial go into your lungs – pneumonia.

My husband was pushed off an icy highway by a sliding van yesterday. He’s OK. He got a ride in an ambulance, neck brace, tests, x-rays – all good. He did go through a mild shock, nausea and shakes. But no worse for wear.

And these past 2 weeks have been focussed on what or whom we can’t be with from a negative as well as positive point of view.

There were a few that triggered for me. But this week, it hit me that I had one more that was screeching out at me and with manifestations to really hit home!

People who are sick or hurt!

Back in the old days I wrote in a grade 5 yearbook that I wanted to be a nurse when I grew up. But that was before I realized I pass out at the site of blood. And that was before my mom had cancer. Before she had gall stones. She had a hysterectomy. She had a heart attack. She had strokes. She had 3 more babies after me. She had veins taken out of her leg and implanted into her neck because of plaque. She is now diabetic. There’s more….

She was in a hospital more than she was at home. And she actually enjoyed it – or so it seemed to me because every time I visited her, she introduced me to the “wonderful” people who took care of her. She expressed joyfully how she was just washed and massaged and her feet were pedicured. She loved the attention because at home, she gave. Here, she received.

I noticed that people who went through traumas, disease and cancer, have stories to tell. They retell how they battled and how their lives were changed forever. And they are revered for it! Honoured in fact.

Professional speakers who went through hell and back were paid more than people who were healthy, wealthy and having fun! I know because I was in the professional speaking arena – I met them!

This past year, my brother had cancer and underwent major surgery to cut out the tumour at the base of his tongue. That was a year ago and he still can’t speak and still feeds himself though a tube inserted into his stomach.

He gets a lot of love, being taken care of and from a negative perspective, worry from family and friends. God, I love him and want him to be well.  He’ll say, no, he’s not in it for the love and attention – absolutely not! He wants to be healthy more than anyone! But this disease stuff is not necessary to be loved!

I’m finding it very difficult to not scream at my own family for being hurt, being sick, staying sick so they could be pampered, loved and felt sorry for!  I must be crazy to be so upset. Stop!  Healthy is better!!

Am I crazy!?! This is one biggy for me to process because reading and listening to news, there is so much pain and disease out there! In my opinion, it’s happening more and more because it’s actually honoured! Am I crazy!?!

Anyway, this week brought that out …. dissolver process – sure brought up the patterns! I’ll let you know what happens!

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