How To Design Your Life To Bring in Joy
You see someone walk by and they’re laughing. And you look at them as if they have a disease! Or you say, “Oh, they’re laughing now, but I bet their life sucks!”
You drive through a high end neighbourhood and find yourself feeling depressed, judging or feeling jealous “those” people have soooo much opulence!
You see someone so successful and you suddenly realize you feel anger. Their confidence tugs at you and you wonder why they irk you so much.
Have any of the above happened for you? Aren’t these the very things you wished for yourself?
They have something you want. Or you judge them for having something you don’t. Be aware of your matching energy – because what you judge or become jealous of is something that is already inside you.
I hear some of you say, “Are you kidding? What a bunch of do-do! Come on. How can you say that because I have a jolt from seeing a millionaire that the million is in me?!?”
Just about. It’s not always about the physical things they have. It’s mostly about what the physical things represent.
Some people feel that they are “victims” of their circumstances, and won’t always make the move toward their happiness.
However, we can get trapped into thinking things really can’t be any different regardless of what we do. This article gives some insights on how to break free from that kind of thinking, how to find joy within yourself, and the wisdom and courage to make the choices that bring you closer to the happiness that’s your right.
Let me explain further. You already know that the things you embrace about yourself emit an energy. Well so do the thoughts and feelings you don’t like about yourself. That energy is something in you that may be latent or sitting below the surface.
So when something wonderful outside of you triggers a bad feeling, ask yourself, “What is it you see outside of yourself that bugs you?” Those qualities that are reflected outside of you are more then likely the very qualities you wish you had or already have but haven’t acknowledged within you.
If you don’t acknowledge them, you haven’t made peace with those qualities inside of you.
Here’s the trick. It’s not about not having the physical wealth or joy you see. Those mainly reflect a feeling that you have suppressed inside that you perceive the wealth and joy can bring or represent for you.
Judgements about wealthy people are common. Judgements about happy people are common. But what you are actually admiring is not what they physically own. What they have reflects what you want in the form of feelings like freedom or elegance or confidence.
It’s a quality in you that you haven’t embraced – not the house. It’s an inner freedom that you’re not embracing, not the million dollars.
So you may have unclaimed happiness stored inside you. You have unclaimed gifts. For me, it was unclaimed love for myself.
When I saw success, happiness and confidence in another and it triggered discomfort or judgement, I knew that I wanted more love in my life.
For you, it could be more joy, more peace, more elegance, more wisdom, or more fun. The list is yours to discover.
For me, I judged that wealthy people were more loved and that God, their parents, a spouse, or their children gave them love. I wanted some of that so resented them instead of digging for my own joy.
But that’s OK. Because I am now aware of the trigger, I can do some inner work and feel that vibration of joy or happiness or love and allow it to last more than a minute!
What’s your matching energy? Is it unclaimed beauty, flaunting, quality, that your very being brings things to you and have the world stand and fall all over themselves to bring those things to you? Or some self image stuff?
The longer you cut yourself off from your natural energy, you keep making choices based on not knowing what you truly desire.
Are you willing to start to forgive that part of you that made that choice? Are you willing to dig for the joy you deserve?
It may seem obvious, but “people don’t devote enough time to thinking seriously about how they spend their life and how much of it they actually enjoy,” says David Schkade, PhD, a psychologist and professor of management at the University of California San Diego.
And why not? Because most people don’t realize that they don’t need an external stimulation to feel joy!
In a recent study, Schkade and colleagues asked more than 900 working women to write down everything they’d done the day before. Afterward, they reviewed their diaries and evaluated how they felt at each point. When the women saw how much time they spent on activities they didn’t like, “some people had tears in their eyes,” Schkade says. “They didn’t realize their happiness was something they could design for themselves and have control over.”
Analyzing one’s life isn’t necessarily easy and may require questioning long-held assumptions.
But even becoming aware of how you feel in the presence of someone you either admire or hate is true gold in itself. It will take you on a journey of discovery.
Go for it! You’ll find that peace, joy, love, elegance, wild out of control fun you truly are and deserve! Write it down.
and great job today!